Saturday, February 2
Welcome to the Show: Part 7 – The Curriculum
“Welcome, grunts, to Academy training!” shouted the drill sergeant. “Training is divided into two equally important areas: education and drills. Each day is equally divided. One month you’ll do book learning in the morning, followed by a hearty lunch and drills in the afternoon. The next month it’s the other way around.
“Just in case you dumb jocks think this is going to be a cakewalk—and believe me, it isn’t—you’re going to actually have to crack a book. Several books. Your curriculum includes Basic Science, Parascience, Technology, Philosophy and Logic, Social Sciences, History, Languages, and Literature and the Arts. If you geeks think you’ve got this information down pat, you’re welcome to test out. In fact, we expect you to test out of at least two subjects, because we wouldn’t have recruited your dumb ass otherwise.
“Take a look at your schedules. Ah yes, I’m lookin’ at you, creampuff. I see the look on your face. The drills look hard? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
“There’s three kinds of drills in your first year. Stamina, Severe Exposure, and Mental Strain. You’re going to start out with ten-mile runs, then marathons, and finally a triathlon. Swimming, cross-country running, bicycling, and mountain climbing. The second part of stamina training involves standing still for extremely long periods of time.
“After a nice twenty-mile run, there’s nothing like a couple of days in the wilderness without food or water! We’re going to send you to Summer Camp. We’re gonna spring this one on you three times a year, and you won’t know when. There’s only an eighty five percent survival rate, tough guys, so gird your loins.
“Finally, there’s the mental stuff. That includes isolation tanks, torture…you’ll see what we mean. Don’t worry yourself, Romeo, I’ll be gentle.
“During this time you will receive ten excuses a year to place out of any drill for any reason, no questions asked. You just get marked as absent. I don’t need to tell you that nobody has remained at the Academy for a single day after an eleventh absence.”
“Now for the good news: After six months, when you’ve finally had all you can take, we’ll send you on furlough to some out-of-the-way island in the Bahamas. Everything is paid for; it’s a regular a week in paradise. Trust me, you’ll need it.” [MORE]
Labels: d20 modern
posted by Mike Tresca at
7:50 AM
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