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Monday, January 12

DVD Review: 10,000 B.C.

Ten things I learned from 10,000 B.C. (spoilers beware!):

1) Nobody speaks in contractions.
2) Everybody is dirty.
3) Nobody speaks the same language except for one guy in Africa, and yet the translation of "Mammoths" is "Mannak."
4) The way to get a bull mammoth to stampede is to stand up in the middle of the herd and scream your head off.
5) Even isolated arctic tribes have tremendous racial diversity.
6) The pyramids were built either by space aliens or Atlanteans.
7) Egyptian pharaohs were white guys who spit a lot.
8) 10,000 B.C. had its own versions of velociraptors: giant angry chickens.
9) For some reason only white men can lead the more powerful and numerous African tribes.
10) Blue-eyed girls are hot. [MORE]

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posted by Michael Tresca at 6:52 AM


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